It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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