There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
