you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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