I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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