In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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