ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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