Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
