seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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