Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Me. At least after what I've been through.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
