Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The best revenge is premature balding
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
