Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
