Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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