I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
