At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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