just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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