We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
