Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
