is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
