Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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