I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
