it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
