She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
