he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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