I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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