my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
