I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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