so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
