It's Friday. Sex?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
