What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
