you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
