Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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