weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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