Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
we should paint friendship bongs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
