Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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