Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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