i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
