The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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