the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
