like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
