Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
