he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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