Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
