morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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