I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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