is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
