The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
