1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I love black thongs
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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