She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no, he came in my armpit
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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