pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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