you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
