what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
