Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
