Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
