Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she told me i tasted like america
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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